It started last week when I took Jesi on her Mommy Date. We rented a movie from Redbox, went to dinner, and then went to Kohl’s to exchange sizes on a cute birthday gift she’d been given. While in Kohl’s, my eyes wandered over to the little girls’ section, and I thought, “Oh, I want to buy something for Lexi and Sophi!” I haven’t as yet purchased anything for either of them. I think in the back of my mind I had just kept thinking that we have most things we’ll need, since we’ve already had girls their sizes.
As I looked around trying to decide what to get, I all of a sudden began to panic. I was realizing that I am completely unprepared for these two sweet girls! Yes, I do have a few hand-me-downs left for Sophi, though we have given away most clothes in her size, and Lexi will be the same size as Elli—but that doesn’t mean that we are at all ready! Jammies, jackets, coats, shoes, socks, shirts, pants, dresses, bedding, diapers, strollers, toys, AGH… I left Kohl’s feeling very overwhelmed and carrying one jacket and one outfit. (And also wondering, by the way, if I should be cutting out the sleeves and sewing them shut for Sophi to keep her warm in the winter-- any thoughts?)
Since that night I have awoken every day in a state of panic. Seriously, my heart at times begins to beat out of my chest. I think that I had just been so excited to hold my newest little girls that I hadn’t really faced reality.
Don’t worry—I am facing it now.
I am going through all the things that I need to do before we travel to China. I am thinking of all the deep cleaning that I should do to get ready. I am thinking of all the things that I need to purchase and the money it will cost. I am realizing that we need to really get hunting for our 12-15 passenger van. I am trying to figure out where to put everyone and where to hang everyone’s clothes and how to make it all work. I am contemplating all of the medical appointments and adjusting and sleeplessness that we will soon be facing. I am coming to grips with the fact that Christmas is coming soon and that I need to get my shopping done before China. And that I will be shopping for EIGHT kids.
I am feeling like I need to throw-up.
So it came as a sweet and much needed surprise when my sweet neighbor called today and asked if she could give me a shower for our newest additions! Somehow it seemed to take a huge load off my chest—just knowing that there are friends out there willing to help and support and celebrate with us. I mean, of course I knew that—I have the sweetest friends and family—but it just reminded me of it at the perfect time. And it makes me so excited to think of having a few new things to dress the girlies in without the guilt of spending money while trying to get a new (used) van and contemplating travel expenses.
So, today I just wanted to express my gratitude for thoughtful friends and a loving Heavenly Father who reminded me that I’m not in this alone.
I will try not to panic anymore…
Deep breath…
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ReplyDeletemy prayers are with you and your sweet family as you embark on this journey to bring 2 more little ones into your home.
ReplyDeletemuch love.
Whew! I am overwhelmed at your overwhelmedness! What an undertaking.
ReplyDeleteMy sweet niece,(who is now 16)was born with no lower arms. She has hands at her elbows. It is called TAR syndrome. My sis in law always cut of arms of everything and just sewed short sleeves on everything so that she could use her hands. Seeing as how Sophie doesn't have hands, she probably wouldn't mind having a shirt that enclosed. My niece is absolutely amazing at the things she is able to accomplish using her feet. It is amazing to me to see her sisters and her girl cousins take care of her needs, such as in the bathroom with very private needs, to helping her with her chores. She is truly an amazing girl. If you would ever like to talk to my sis in law, I know that she would love to chat with you!
Sweet story: When Joseph and Parker were very young, we had a FHE on special needs people. We watched one of those "cheesey" ; ) family home evening videos about a lady that does crafts with her feet. After it was over we asked them if they knew anybodo special such as we had seen in the video. Parker (who was 3) piped up and mentioned this particular cousin. We asked him why she was so special, and his reply was, "She has the curliest, longest hair I have ever seen"!
Leave it to the heart of a child to love everybody as they are and see them as their Heavenly Father does!
I'll be up there Sept 24, 25, and 26th... I would love to come help with whatever I can!!!!
ReplyDeleteMorning Christianne - just remember that ya'll got a visit from an Angel with that call....and if I had any leave at all we'd be on the next flight out to give you a hand! As for the sleeves - yeah - that might be a good idea, I'll check with Marie on that one!
ReplyDeletehugs - aus and co.
That makes sense to sew the arms up, especially living where it is cold. It seems like she would be more comfortable, too. I'm just imaging myself if I were in that situation. I agree with Lisa about feeling overwhelmed at your overwhelmedness! I remember right before I would have a baby getting that panicky feeling with similar thoughts, even with getting a bigger vehicle, when all along I was so excited to have another join our family. However, the baby would come and all the joy overcame all fears I had (just as I know you know). We even went a month driving two vehicles until we could get a suburban after Julie was born. Everything will work out. You will be blessed with what you need and what you don't have, your love and sweet family will make up for. You are giving these girls the best gift in having them join your family. Ü I'll remember you in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI so wish I lived closer. I would come clean and organize your house. We could figure out a system and place for everything. I so do not enjoy that panicked feeling. We will be praying for you here. As always the Lord seems to provide a way and make it all possible. You two are truly amazing and I know you will be blessed!!!
ReplyDelete