I often wonder.
Lexi accepts her blindness, but is very excited about the healing that will someday take place for her. She tells everyone that when she gets to heaven, Jesus is going to fix her eyes. (Of course, when Lexi passes away, she will probably immediately be healed, without Jesus physically healing her, but she has decided this is going to be a big, special event in heaven.) A few days ago, Lexi asked me if she could sit in my lap when Jesus fixed her eyes. I said, "Yes, you can sit in my lap. That would be very special." She then asked if I would hold her hand, and went on to explain that she was scared that it was going to hurt. I reassured her that it wouldn't be painful. I said, "Jesus will just put His hands over your eyes, like this (I put my hands over her eyes) and when He takes them away, you will be able to see." (I'm not sure that's exactly how it will happen, but it's got to be something like that, right?) (:
Lexi was very happy about this, and has shown at least a couple of people how Jesus is going to heal her. She gets very giddy just talking about it.
Tonight, Lexi tripped on something in the living room and fell against a bookshelf. She wasn't hurt badly, but she was crying hard, and wailed, "I can't walk when the floor is messy!"
That about broke our hearts. Just try walking around your house right now blindfolded-- it's pretty scary! I tried for less than a minute after her fall and my heart just ached for her and Elli and their daily struggles. I will often remind my other kids to do the same, just to help remind us all to put our things away.
Tonight as I was tucking her into her bed, I was just overcome with how much I love this beautiful, special girl. It's been almost a year since she joined our family and I can't believe her grasp of English, her resiliency, her happy demeanor, and her pure testimony of Jesus Christ. As I kissed her goodnight, she said, "Mommy, can I fix my eyes?" I said, "No, sweetie, only Jesus can fix your eyes." She replied, "But I know how! I just have to go like this," and proceeded to put her hands over her eyes.
Such childlike faith.
I have no doubt that it is faith enough to be healed now, if it is His desire for her.
I love that sweet Lexi of mine.
