Addict

Hello. My name is Christianne, and I am an internet-holic.

There, I said it. That's the first step, right?

I don't mean to be like this. I sit down with the purest of intentions-- and it always begins with just checking my email. This is something unavoidable, as it's how we communicate with teachers, among other important things. It has to be done. But before I know it, I'm sucked in-- reading stories off of yahoo, then moving on to Foxnews, checking favorite blogs, following adoption journeys, finding a recipe for that evening, looking up medical information for one of the many ailments affecting the kiddos-- you get the idea. All good things, until I realize that an hour of more of my life has been sucked away, all while Sophi is parked in front of the TV. Yeah, I'm a great parent sometimes.

It wouldn't be as big of deal if it didn't often happen multiple times in a day. I walk in my bedroom for whatever valid reason, see the computer, and I'm like a nail being pulled to a magnet.

Can anyone relate, or am I the only moron out there?

I don't do facebook, because I know how I'd be. I did it for about two days before I realized that it would soon take over way too much time. I go on once in a blue moon. And I've always kind of patted myself on the back for that. "At least I don't facebook," I tell myself, knowing deep inside that I probably spend a good deal more time on the computer than facebookers. And at least they are keeping up with friends and family, not some random news stories on the web.

The funny (sad) thing about this ridiculous issue of mine is that there are many productive things I could be doing while sitting-- but I always think I don't have time for it. Blogging, for instance. Blogging is one internet activity that I feel no guilt over-- there are a million good reasons to blog, not the least of which is the positive impact it has on my kids. They LOVE reading the blog, and it is such a good, easy way for me to keep a journal. I enjoy writing. And yet, most days I sit down thinking, "I don't have time to blog-- just to "check email" or whatever other supposedly short activity I have in mind. An hour later I realize I've done nothing of great value, and could have spent that time doing several blog posts if I had any foresight or discipline whatsoever. Also, there are many times that I somehow don't take the time to answer an email or follow through on something important because I have so much to do-- and yet I read the latest story on KSL.

Sigh.

So there it is. I'm putting it out there. Why? Because I need help. You see, I have eight lovely children that need my love and attention. I have a house that needs all kinds of help. I have an empty fridge to fill and full baskets of laundry to empty. And even 20 minutes a day spent toward those good things, rather than surfing the internet, would be a great blessing to my family.

Therefore, I am making a commitment. And I'm making it public, because I think that will help me feel more accountable! This is what I want to do. For this week, I promise to change my habits. I'm starting small-- I can't just let go of the computer cold turkey. I will allow myself 20 minutes in the morning to check my email and whatever other thing I choose to do on the computer. I think it's a good release for me after getting seven, sometimes eight (on preschool mornings) kids ready and off to school. After Elli has gone and it's just me and Sophi, I think it's ok to get my breakfast and sit down for those 20 minutes. BUT, before I spend even a minute more doing anything on the computer that day, I have to do five things. Read my scriptures, say my prayers, clean the kitchen, start a load of laundry, and read with Sophi. After that, I'm allowed computer time IF, and only IF, I blog first. And even then, I will commit to be more aware of the time I spend. How does that sound? Because, like I said, the time I'm on the computer is usually used for good things, and I think that's ok, if I'm not giving up BETTER things.

So there you go. It's my commitment to you. I think you'll be hearing a lot more from me this week. (;

--Christianne