Our family was at the ballpark tonight for Xander's first baseball game. Afterward, we started walking toward the car. There was a group of people visiting on the sidewalk/grass area that we had to squeeze past. Sophi was walking just behind me, when I heard a man's playful voice ask, "well, where did your arms go?" Jer later told me that it took him a few seconds to process why someone would ask a question like that, but I immediately knew that the man had just assumed she was hiding her arms in her jacket. I turned around to see Soph staring up at him like he was crazy. I didn't know whether or not to say something, because I knew he would be embarrassed, but decided it would be worse not to. I said with a smile, "actually, she was born without arms." The poor man's mouth just hung open, and immediately his wife was apologizing up and down. I laughed and said it was ok, and not to worry, but I'm afraid that sweet man, who was just trying to be friendly, was mortified.
I've been giggling about it all night. (:
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Something similar happened to us! The kids were having their picture taken with Santa and the photographer said, "oops, we're missing a hand here" and then ran over to roll up Eleanor's sleeve. She was as white as a ghost when she realized what she'd said! We laughed all the way home about it!
ReplyDeleteAnd that is probably the best possible response - giggles are good for the giggler, but even better for the child that may have been the brunt of a thoughtless comment from an otherwise kind, loving and thoughtful guy! When you have fun with it...well...it certainly removes the "sting"!
ReplyDeletehugs - love you guys - aus and co.
Oh, that poor man! Haven't we all stuck our foot in our mouth at some point until we are gnawing on our knee?
ReplyDeleteLong time reader of your blog! Love your family! Have been fans of yours since you still lived in TN!
ReplyDeleteI can remember playing the "Where did your arms go?!" game with my brother. Then he'd burst out laughing and thrust his little arms out through his sleeves. I bet the poor guy was speechless, as I'm sure he was just trying to joke with Sophi. You handled it beautifully!
She reminds me of my little guy, who is around her age! Their spunky personalities would make quite a pair! If you want to see him, go to Marin.mrorex.com
After Easter, my youngest (age 5 preschooler) came to me and said he hoped Sophi was in Kindergarten soon. When I asked him why, he said, "because in preschool you have to sit cross cross applesauce, gophers in the hole" (cross-legged with your hands in your lap). Then he told me he had asked his older brothers if you had to sit "gophers in the hole" in kindergarten, and they told him no :)
ReplyDeleteAww sweet, man. Poor guy. I hope he can chuckle about it and doesn't feel too badly! It's so funny how differently you view birth defects once you've adopted children with birth defects. They're just special kids!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog when a friend posted your GREAT NEWS video on my facebook page, knowing I would love it. I have to just say a big "good for you" for giggling about it and handling the situation so gracefully instead of assuming the man was rude/insensitive, etc. I love to see people refuse to adopt a victim mentality and assume the best in others.
ReplyDelete(and congratulations on your upcoming additions)